Part of Life's Eternal Rhyme.......

“You have been my friend," replied Charlotte. "That in itself is a tremendous thing...after all, what's a life anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die...By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that.” ― E.B. White,Charlotte's Web

 

Death feels like it comes too often on a farm.  We raise our children here because we value the life lesson of give and take, of birth and death, of watching the seasons bring and take away.  But I find some days that the lesson of life feels too much of a burden to bear. 

 We lost our livestock guardian dog, Bailey yesterday.  With the gift of unwavering loyalty and unconditional love comes a price.  Each time I lose one of my animals, they take a piece of my heart with them.  Reminds me of a quote I once read:

“It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.”

I want to tell you the story of his life that will make you understand how important he was...how interregnal he was.  I want to tell you about the first time I met him as a puppy amongst a herd of sheep and goats, as he was just beginning his life’s career.  I want to tell you about the “shift” changes he took with his fellow livestock guardian dog, Moose.  Or the mornings I awoke after a storm to see him curled up in the snow on top of the pasture, keeping watch.  Or tell you about his gentle nature with our children even though he towered over them.  Or the rare occasion when he would escape the barnyard and I would find him on our porch, in the middle of the night, licking a peanut butter jar from the recycling bin. But I just can’t tell you a story that would encompass him or the loss I feel.  So, I will leave you with the statement that he served our farm well as the working dog he was bred to be and so very much more.

I couldn’t give him much yesterday.  The best I could give him was the most experienced white coats I could find to tell me that a sudden stroke left his body useless.  When I arrived in the ER and spoke to him, he could only move his eyes.  So I attempted to return all the unconditional love he had shown to me by holding his massive head in my lap and letting my tears drop onto his thick white coat while he slipped away.

The barnyard seemed strangely quite last night.  Life goes on all around where he was.  But, much like me, each of the animals are less whole without him.  As I walk back to the house from the barn, I hear one single livestock dog bark echoing over the frozen winter pasture where I once heard two.  My heart aches for its missing part, but my heart knows that spring will arrive from outside of this frozen winter and life will continue on our farm.  The moment reminded me of one of my favorite songs I enjoy singing to my children .

How very special are we, for just a moment, to be part of life’s eternal rhyme…….

(click on picture below for audio)